January 31, 2018 Breakfast, Glasgow No Comments


I’m a dumbass who responds to dares. I pretty much always have been. Probably the greatest silliness this led to was jogging naked down the Malecon in Havana during some fairly blustery conditions. Arrest or being dragged to a watery grave thankfully didn’t result.


More recently I had to endure the fairly dire double down at KFC.

Imagine my delight when another item started appearing on bus shelter advertising and led to a fresh gauntlet being thrown down. This time the object in question was called the cheesy bacon flatbread from the golden arches of McDonald’s.

This was a breakfast item which I hadn’t quite tracked down in Edinburgh but when an early train deposited me in city centre Glasgow the opportunity presented itself.


Their Sauchiehall Street branch is much like the others, I guess, but it felt rather more bedecked with technology than I remember. This probably means I haven’t visited a McDonald’s for a while so hadn’t previously experienced their order and contactless pay touch screens etc.

Anyhoo, I avoided all that and headed for the counter to place my order. Partly with #sausagequest in mind I opted for a sausage egg McMuffin as well as the flatbread. The bill came to £3.73. With items in hand I wandered along munching as I walked.

The flatbread was dull as fuck. The bacon was the shitey burger topping crap and the cheese was partially deformed plastic. The wrapper it came in looked temptingly crisp in comparison to the unevenly toasted flatbread that was…flat and lifeless. It was a very poor item.


The sausage egg McMuffin was blighted with the same cheesy pish. The egg was an egg and the sausage patty had a couple of bites that contained a fairly horrid burnt mixed herb soapiness. It was utter guff.

And as for muffin, it made Caffe Nero look like the guild of master bakers.

On previous trips to McD’s I’ve been fairly satisfied that their burgers and fries offer a not unpleasant experience so I’ve been generally tolerant of what they do. This visit was entirely more alarmingly ghastly.

So overall, I wouldn’t go anywhere near McDonald’s for their breakfast menu. The flatbread thing is a pointless menu brainfart and should be consigned to the annals of history at the earliest convenient point. And the McMuffins need a complete refresh to get them back to what I remember as a fairly enjoyably dirty treat.

Address: 101-105 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow G2 3DD

Written by BKR