The 7 Worst Dishes of 2017

1. Famous haggis pie, mash and soooooo much gravy – Rose Street Café
This comes as little surprise, I’m sure, as this is a review very fresh in the memory. A lake of Bisto was the backdrop for this horror show of a meal. The ‘stars’ were a sad microwaved pie and some mash that looked like pineapple or rigatoni and tasted of hot nothing. An utterly shameful display from a café that will hopefully either vastly improve or quickly close down.

Utterly fucking awful

2. King prawn in sweet chilli sauce – The Atholl
‘Tonight’s amuse bouche is a king prawn in sweet chilli sauce’. My bouche was not amused. The Atholl was awful.

3. Lettuce wedge – Miller & Carter
Miller & Carter is a misguided disaster area of a restaurant. They insist on bringing you a wedge of lettuce just before your steak arrives. It is drenched in your choice of high-calorie dressing to make it seem interesting. It’s not. It’s a fucking waste of space of a dish.

4. Turkey wrap – The Roast Wrap Co
When perfectly good roasted meat is served in a combination of leather, wood-shavings, Bisto sad, and frozen carrot gobs, it is unlikely to please me.

5. Ham and cheese sandwich – Nomad
Nomad looks great, is generally very busy, and serves utterly dreary fare. Their sandwiches, in particular, are incredibly poor.

6. Double Down – KFC
Two classic chicken pieces with bacon, cheese and BBQ sauce in between. Nope.

7. Pickle tray – Morningside Spice
This was one of the poorest efforts served to me all year.