The Original German Sausage
It had been a source of considerable sadness to track the declining quality of Edinburgh’s Christmas events over the years. The Street of Light does nothing for me. The market stalls are an increasingly irrelevant selection of crap on wheels, and the accompanying food offering has spiralled towards deathly dullness and very poor quality.
With this balanced set of expectations, I thought I’d give this year’s version a cursory visit to check nothing remarkable was in place to change my mind.
Mimi’s Bakehouse have their Cake Cabin there once more. I’m pleased to exempt them from the scope of my ire. They do consistently good work and have a very appreciative audience.
After wandering past vast swathes of samey nonsense in east Princes Street gardens I alighted upon The Original German Sausage stall atop Waverley Mall. I took a deep breath and approached.
From their selection of whatnots I opted for the currywurst on a roll (£6). This was topped with onions that were hard a tasteless instead of soft, caramelised and sweet.
The sausage itself was fine. The curry sauce was mind-bogglingly shit. The bun was piss poor, too.
We have enough trouble with our own food culture, as it is. We have no need to import some lowest common denominator, faux Germanic version of someone else’s cack idea of how we should celebrate the festive season with a culinary crapfest. But that ship has probably now sailed and this is what we’re left with – another shambles of our own making.
So overall, bah humbug to all. The fare at the Christmas Fest is a pointless waste of heat and meat. The stuff I ate was dreary, soulless and just such a total load of fucking bollocks. If you choose to visit for the “magic of the market”, please eat elsewhere before or after. Falalalala, lala la la…
(Or you could head to Glasgow…)