The 9 Worst Dishes of 2016
1. Scrambled eggs with ham and cheese at Duke Café
The word “Dukelicious” which forms part of the Duke Café’s strapline took on a whole new meaning when we visited in May. I sampled the “cocktail breakfast” which was odd, but the ham served with the scrambled eggs which guest questers sampled was the worst thing ever served on any Lunchquest excursion.
2. Yorkshire pudding at China Red
China Red is one of those fairly ghastly all-you-can-eat buffet places, with a couple of branches in Edinburgh. Some of their dishes are fine – the roast duck was pretty good, for example – but given the sheer breadth on offer it’s hardly surprising that they have a few dreadful items. Their attempt at Yorkshire pudding was pitiful and deserves special recognition for its supreme badness.
3. Croque monsieur at L’Echoppe
Perhaps I caught L’Echoppe on a bad day, as they seem to do a decent trade with their extensive menu of croques, but their mushroom and tomato version that I tried was dreadful. With an overabundance of raw nutmeg and truly shitty bread, it was one of the worst things I ate all year.
4. Chilli jam and goat’s cheese bruschetta at Tutto Matto
I had multiple visits to Tutto Matto before settling upon a verdict, as the first visit was mind-bogglingly cack and I suspected not representative of their general level of quality. This was true – although it’s still a place I couldn’t recommend – but the goat’s cheese and chilli jam bruschetta was an unforgivably bad dish that should be loudly condemned for gross pishness.
5. Currywurst at The Original German Sausage
6. Fish tacos at Topolabamba
Topolabamba is a fast and furious purveyor of woefully mediocre Mexican food. Their fish tacos featured overcooked, rock-hard-crumbed fish in a tasteless soft taco shell with objectionably shit slaw. They made me sad. I wrote a feedback letter to them rather than a review.
7. Poutine at BRGR
No list of crappy food could be complete without a dishonourable mention for someone serving piss-poor poutine. The plastic cheese on the burgers at BRGR was little better, but the chips and squeaky cheese was completely gruesome.
8. Eggs Benedict at Dino’s
Dino’s was one of the most memorably bad places that MJ and I have ever visited and the review is a favourite with many. The microwaved eggs and hollandaise made from powder didn’t exactly taste objectionable, but holy crap what a dumbass place.
9. Lincolnshire sausage, bacon & egg in an English muffin at Cross Country Trains
I’d been lulled into a false sense of security about train food thanks to Virgin East Coast’s very decent first class dining. Cross Country’s chronic effort at a breakfast sandwich brought me back to reality with a bump.